Counting down.

I'm quickly nearing my due date with this sweet baby.

30 days from today, to be exact.

And I'm feeling a million different emotions that I don't always know how to process or control I'm afraid.

I'm excited.

I'm scared.

I'm anxious.

I'm stressed.

I'm overwhelmed.

Both with the amazing sense that something incredible is about to happen and the amazing realization that the life that we've known for the past almost six years is about to dramatically change.

I text messaged my mom from my van the other day as I sat in the Babies R Us parking lot weeping.

I'd ditched my full cart of baby supplies and headed to the car before I completely melted down in the presence of strangers.

"What is wrong?" she asked.  "You've been preparing for this for years!"

"For pregnancy..." I said.  "I've been working and preparing for pregnancy for years."

But now there is almost a baby.

And goodness gracious did I ever really think we'd get to this point after all the years of fear and struggle?

But to this point we have arrived, and with all the scattered emotions the one thing I feel stronger than anything is that of love.

Sweet precious love.

For this little heartbeat inside of me.

For this little life God has created.

For this person who has yet to be named but is already so known by his or her Creator that even the hairs on his or her head have been counted.

Sweet, sweet little one.

I cannot wait to meet you.

30 days cannot pass quickly enough.