Grow, baby grow.

Oh, hey there huge belly.  Where did you come from?  I'm pretty sure my belly has been growing bigger by the day hour second these past few weeks.  Each day I feel like I'm surely about to burst but then I look at my calendar and realize, nope... still several more months to go!  I'm so much... BIGGER... this pregnancy.  Bigger belly.  Bigger booty.  Bigger.... other areas.  And the recent heat wave (aka 75 degrees) has got me sweating buckets and swelling like a... something that swells a lot.

The beginning of this pregnancy felt super similar to my pregnancy with Swee'Pea.  I was sick like crazy.  I had extreme food sensitivities.  My chest felt like it was on fire for a good four months.  But that is where the similarities have ended.  My face is crazy broken out this time around.  I've developed both a weird rash and some very rude acne.  I'm gaining weight in areas I never really did (and much earlier than) in my first pregnancy.  I'm craving sweets.  I've never craved sweets in my life.  I'm way more tired.  Way more hungry.  And way, way less patient.  Something that has really surprised me about this pregnancy is how strong my emotions have been.  I'm crazy sensitive.  Crazy emotional.  And crazy temperamental all at the same time.  Unfortunately it isn't one certain thing that sets me off in any one direction.  Some days I'm as happy as a clam and the next I just seem to let everything get me down, annoyed, or frustrated.  So, you know, good luck for the next 3 1/2 months family and friends.

I'm obsessed with rubbing my belly.  Talking and singing and praying to the little one growing inside.  Because I have lazy children who rarely move in utero, I completely freak out as soon as I feel even the slightest kick or movement from within.  A highlight for me this past week was when Popeye got to feel a single solitary kick from our little one.  Big brother is going nuts waiting for his turn to feel the baby move arrive.  I can't wait to see his sweet face light up when he finally does.  Carrying a baby is such a joy... such a privilege.  I almost feel a little bad that Popeye doesn't get to go through this experience like I get to (although I think he is just fine letting me do all the work and getting to enjoy the baby when its all over).  

We've started to do all the crazy stuff I suppose you are supposed to do when you are about to have a baby.

Test driving mini vans.

Buying car seats.

Signing up for birthing classes.

Getting ready to purchase our cloth diapers.

Trying to figure out where in this tiny house another little person with a whole lotta stuff is actually going to fit.

It's been amazing, really.  Terrifying.  But amazing all the same.

But as wonderful as all this is, there are days when being pregnant is really hard.  Mostly because the excitement of meeting my baby is almost too much to bear.  I love love loved being pregnant with Swee'Pea.  I enjoyed every single second of it (even those spent hunched over the toilet).  And while I still find pregnancy such a miracle and I'm beyond thrilled I get to go through it again, I now know the sweetness of having the actual baby in my arms.  I could never really imagine what it was like to have my own child while I was carrying Swee'Pea.  Now the thought of it is so overwhelmingly amazing that it brings tears to my eyes imagining the doctor laying my sweet babe on my chest for the very first time.  I'll never forget looking into Popeye's eyes for the first time after we realized we had a son.  I'll never forget the feeling of them laying him on my chest, his chubby little cheeks wailing and carrying on as if he'd been waiting all nine months to tell us something important.  I'll never forget spending that first night doing anything but sleep as I peered anxiously into the bassinet beside me, worried I should call the nurse because he hadn't made a peep, and feeling completely in love but utterly terrified at the same time that they were about to send this little person home with me.  Oh, I am on pins and needles and bursting with excitement to experience it all again!  But as hard as it is waiting and waiting and waiting for this sweet little one to be ready to make his or her debut, I don't wish away one second of this pregnancy, and I know I'll be incredibly emotional at the end when I know my last days as a pregnant woman will officially be ending.  

Little one.  I'm dying to meet you.  I'm seriously glad I'm not an elephant and have to be pregnant for two whole years because I certainly don't think I could handle waiting that long to see your sweet face. You are the answer to so many prayers from so many people.  I will never ever get over what a miracle you are.  I am so excited to get to know you... to see your little personality develop... to watch your relationships with your brother and your daddy and me grow.  You are already so incredibly loved.  And you will probably spend the first several months of life being wrapped in my arms and smothered with my kisses.  So be prepared, sweet baby.  Because once they put you in my arms I fear I will never let you go.