The new life...

Things have gotten out of control crazy around here since my return to work.  I keep wanting to post, but what about?  Our busy mornings... my lack of healthy cooking... the fact that I haven't done any actual grocery shopping since March 30th... the frustration of having too little time to do anything that really needs to get done, let alone those things I just want to get done... BORING.

I used to write posts in my head while I cleaned or cooked or gardened.  Now?  I'm making lists of what I needed to run-off in the copy room the next day... of which parents I need to call to report that their son or daughter hit/kicked/chewed gum/stole another person's pencil and lied about it all day... how early I need to get up to get completely ready, or if I can get away once again with wearing my hair in two buns and calling it a day.  

Being a working mom for some may be a nice break away from your child.  You get to drink coffee, sit at a nice clean desk, and converse with intelligent and friendly adults.  My job?  I'm dealing with 25 kids all day long.  25 KIDS PEOPLE.  You think it is tough being at home with your one or two?  TRY 25.  You know how kids whine?  Yeah, that times a million.  "She hit me..."  "He is breathing on me..." "She smells like farts and old milk..."  I PRAY for recess to come just so I can get down to the office, relieve my aching bladder, and try to catch up for 10 precious minutes with my peers who are also equally frazzled and exhausted.

Next week we have state testing.  I don't even want to get into the ridiculousness and the politics of state testing.  But for those who are fellow teachers or parents, I'm sure you know the insane amount of preparation that goes into these crucial tests.  I've spent the past five days trying to review 500+ pages of math and even more English and Language Arts curriculum with my students.  And just to give you a taste of what goes on in a typical elementary classroom, I give you a snippet of just a few of the conversations that have gone on during my review sessions this week:

Example #1:

Me: "Okay class, let's continue reviewing homophones.  Okay, who can give me a meaning for the word 'blue'..."

Student A: "The sky is blue."

Me: "Okay, very good... anyone else?  Remember, we are doing homophones..."

Student B: "I am feeling blue."

Me: "Excellent, excellent.  Anyone else?"

Student C: "Um, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this one... because when I said it on the playground I got into trouble."

Me: "Well, then I guess we better not say it, can you think of anything else?"

Student C: "No, this is a good one.  It is using the word blue.  But I don't want to get into trouble for it."

Me: "Okay... you just keep that one to yourself then... Let's move on..."

Example #2:

Me: "Now on to synonyms.  Listen to this sentence, "The bird was singing in the tree."  Now, can anyone think of a synonym for 'sing'?"

Student A: "Chirp?"

Me: "Excellent!"

Student B: "Mrs. Olive Oyl!  Do you remember in Shrek when Princess Fiona sang to the bird and it exploded???"

Rest of Class: "Yeah yeah, that was so funny."  Lots of laughter and imitating the movie at increasingly loud volumes.

Me: "Thank you.  Okay... let's settle down..."

Five minutes later random students are still making random noise of singing birds exploding.

Example #3:

Me: (I've just finished doing like a 10 minute explanation of how the testing will work, our time frame, and exactly what days they will take certain tests...).  "Okay, any questions about the test.  About the test only."

Student A: "Um, so, when do we get snacks on the testing day?"

Me: "That is not about the test... anyone else?  Questions about the test only."

Student B: "What if I have to go to the bathroom during the test?"

Me: "That is not about the test.  Anyone else?

Student C: "What if someone looks at my paper and I look at theirs?"

Me: "Again, not about the test."

Student D: "When can I retake my multiplication test?"

Me: (I say nothing... I just stare at the kid for a minute and move on...)

Student E: "Are we going to have homework?  Are we going to have to take other tests next week, like in Social Studies or something?"

Me: "Um, well, we haven't done any Social Studies in the past two weeks, so we probably won't be having any tests on it since you haven't learned anything new about it...."

Student F: "Wait, we have to take a Social Studies test?!?!"

Me: (eye roll... go back to my seat and pray for bell to ring immediately.)

 I totally don't want to make it seem like my days have been all horrid.  I've enjoyed seeing lots of my students again, and they are always good for a funny joke or a random story that brightens my day.  But between budget cuts, people fearing for their jobs, and the fact that I have to hold my bladder and bowls for HOURS before I can get a restroom break has kind of put a damper on returning to work.  But on good days, when kids are behaving and the not-so-nice ones are absent for the billionth day in a row, I really enjoy what I do.  I know I'm lucky to have a job with this economy... and that not everyone gets so many holidays off or has the freedom to leave work at 3pm every day if they really do need to.

But even with that, I'm not going to lie... I'm quite happily counting down the last 28 school days until I'm free for the summer. :)