Three months.
There has been so much that has gone on in my life... in our lives... And yet every week when I walk by the computer and think about putting it all down in writing I am utterly overwhelmed and put off at the thought of having to play catch-up.
There are so many stories to share, but so little time to gather my thoughts on them all. Even more sadly are my seriously sad attempts at photodocumenting all of our adventures (I need a new point-and-shoot like, yesterday).
There have been points when I've completely given up on even reading blogs. All too often they leave me feeling sad, frustrated, and quite honestly a bit jealous and too down-in-the-dumps about my own little life to find enjoyment in sharing my own adventures. A few weeks ago I shared my sentiments with a sweet friend, and felt so relieved when she said she felt the same way. "It's so depressing!" we exclaimed to each other. "It seems like everyone else in the world is out shopping and Bible studying and drinking coffee and play dating and we are stuck with screaming, disruptive, unmotivated little creatures all day long! Gluing, grading, and working on standards?? Certainly NO ONE wants to hear about THAT!"
Blargh.
But here I sit today. Kitchen clean. Naps had. Laundry laundrying. Dishwasher dishwashing. And I figured I'd push aside all the annoyingly unattractive tid-bits of the past three months and instead focus on the amazingly beautiful things that I so want to cherish and remember about this season in our life.
This season.
A season of long work days and little time to rest...
A season of communicating with voice mails and text messages during lunch breaks at work...
A season of wondering "what's for dinner!" then rushing to defrost chicken or (more often than not) ordering take-out or dining on our favorite brand of cereal...
A season of counting down the months, weeks, days, hours until school is out for the summer...
A season of finding solace in a long email to a dear friend, a good cup of coffee, and a tear-jerking read on my Kindle when I know that all I really need is a good cry...
A season of stress and worry but also beautiful hope in the future God has for us...
A season of dependence on my husband to be my rock and my beloved, even when I'm tired and cranky and ugly and childish...
A season of growing up, letting go, and battling the inner child in me who just wants to spit in the face of all my responsibilities and run naked through the backyard sprinklers without a care in the world....
A season of change.
Joy.
Weeping.
Dancing.
Breaking down.
Building up.
And through everything, a season that I'm learning to rely less on me and my selfish desires and more on God to get me through my day and provide me with my daily provisions. I've learned to wake up each morning and pray that I'll begin the day anew, stripping off the old and pressing on towards the life He has called me to live. And each night as I drift off to sleep I pray that He would continue to mold me... forgive me... discipline me... into the woman He so desires me to be.
As depleting and exhaustingly chaotic as this season in our life has become, I know someday I'll look back on it and cherish it for what it has brought to our little lives. For the strength it has brought to our relationships. For the character it has built in each of us. For the beauty that was and is in each and every little moment we share together.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom with God has done from beginning to end.
~Ecclesiastes 3:11
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