My Big Boy...

Dear Swee'Pea,

How on EARTH did you get to be such a big boy?
I've been working (again) on (trying) to organize our thousands and thousands of pictures and get them into digital scrapbooks and I often instead of organizing I spend (hours) staring at pictures when you were a wee boy and laughing and crying over all the years of joy we have had with you.
Why do you have to grow up so quickly?
Sometimes I feel like you are five going on fifty.
You come by that naturally, I suppose.
I always have been kind of a little old lady myself.
You are my favorite little person to be around and the best little sidekick.
You've always been a love bug but you are even more so since I've gotten pregnant.
Every single day, every single hour, you obsess over how I'm feeling and how the baby is doing.
I hope your baby is okay.
Is your baby feeling good?
Is the baby making your stomach hurt?  I'm sorry.
I hope your baby comes out good.
When your baby comes out I hope you feel okay.
I really like your baby.
And then you hug my belly and kiss it and talk to the baby and it is the sweetest thing on the face of God's green Earth.

You have changed so much since turning five I sometimes can hardly believe it.
You never want to hold my hand crossing the street or in stores.
You beg to spend the night places.
You have been counting down the days to me going out of town for my birthday so you can spend three whole nights with your Grandma Turbo.
You rarely beg for me to sleep with you at night anymore.  This is a HUGE change as you used to be unable to fall asleep unless I laid with you at least five minutes each night and sometimes longer.  Now you fall right to sleep and it makes me so sad sometimes I have to sneak in your room later and lay down with you for a time just so I can fall asleep.
You are obsessed with time and order and what our plans are for the hour, day, week, month, year.
What are we doing next?  And then?  And then??
You never stop talking.  Never.
And sometimes I think I might go batty.
But people tell me soon you'll be a teenager and you'll never want to talk to me at all and then I'll look back on these years and regret being so flippant about it so I'm trying to remember that and soak it all in.
But seriously.
Sometimes mama's ears and brain could use a break.
You are brave.
So, so brave.
And it scares me and encourages me all at the same time.
I pray that your courage never goes away.  But I pray you are wise and safe all at the same time.
I pray you use your bravery to live faithfully for Jesus.  To stand up for what is right.  To never give in to bullies or wrong doers.  To always encourage and be a many of God that can be trusted.
And if you choose to use that bravery to leap off cliffs and or jump out of airplanes, hey.
Please at least wear a helmet.

You are reading like crazy.  And counting and adding up a storm.
You love Social Studies and Science.
And could tell us all about the "Statue of Liverty."
But time and money are still a struggle.
You'll get it eventually, right??

You say so many hilarious things and I kick myself for not writing them all down as soon as you say them.  It is so funny to hear these things come out of a little person's mouth but since you hang out with your daddy and me all day long I guess you have started to pick up some of our vocabulary on top of your own.

Some of my recent favorites are:
What do you want to do?  Because I suggest we go to the hot spa.
He must be really frustrated.
This smell is familiar to me.  This is a very familiar smell.
I cannot make a decision.  It is just too hard.
I don't want to take a 60 minute nap.  Can I take a 59 minute nap?  That is less, right?

I love you so, so much sweet boy.
I literally cannot get enough of you.
It is an obsession, really.
And I hope you never forget what a blessing you are to this family.

You are an incredible little person.
And you are going to be an amazing big brother.
Thank you for always being you.
And for reminding me daily what a joy it is to be a mother.

love, mommy.